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We are alive

by Matt Boren

We are alive!

We are so alive it hurts. It feels amazing. It sucks. It’s up and down and super down and super up. It’s good. It’s bad. It’s crap. It is absolutely terrifying.

It’s decisions that are so uncomfortable to make we would rather be with Sandra Bullock, orbiting the Earth. It’s choosing to turn left or right every single day. And wondering if you should have turned left when you chose to turn right. It’s hoping against hope you grabbed your steering wheel, clicked your blinker and headed in the most sensible direction.

It is deep. Being alive is so bottom of the ocean deep it can be brutal. The ear popping, heart thumping pain of going so low can only be matched by the ear popping, heart thumping of going so high. And then what’s in between? What’s in the middle? Real life, right? Real, everyday, get up-walk-the-dogs-brush-your-teeth-make-your-coffee-love-your-family-get-your-clothes-on life.

And most of us know, that’s the thing. The real thing. The thing that counts. The real life. It trumps the business struggles and the financial woes. It must. It must because when we are no longer here, here in our bodies, when we are sent off in ceremony and the alive speak about us, it is our greatest hope that those who speak will be those we loved and those who loved us in return. And in that moment, as it should be right now, none of the blips will be recognized because, in fact, they are not what counts.

So knowing this, because I know we know this, why does being alive sometimes feel so dreadful, exhausting, overwhelming, ridiculous, challenging…?

Don’t know. Because it just is? But it’s all good because, well, we’re doing it, in it, moving through it, growing from it. And let’s be real. If we don’t land that account, get that part, sell that show/movie/musical, graduate with honors, get that pat on the back, make another million, we’re still here. We still get to eat really delicious food and give our kids a hundred more kisses and laugh with our friends and look up to the endless night sky and say holy shit… WE ARE ALIVE!

Matt Boren

About Matt Boren

Matt Boren grew up on the East Coast. He is a writer/actor currently living in Los Angeles. He danced to "My Prerogative" at his bar mitzvah where his theme was Hollywood.

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